RC is Getting Pushy

AFWNA logoEvery since the boss (me) decided not to whack RonChalice for being a lazy good for nothing and built him a new website, he’s been getting pretty darned demanding.  New artwork, new logo, new articles to make him look good.

All for a lousy few new chapters over the past couple of months.

His latest demand, however, takes the cake. From somewhere in the back of that head of his, he dredged up this Association for Not Whacking Anybody (AFWNA) and wants us to to put the logo on ALL of our websites. Yeah, like that’ll happen. But we ARE gonna put it on this one since it’s his, and probably the only one in the world he ever looks at anyway.

So the logo you see above, and the following statement now appear on the Credits page.

No elephants, penguins, iguanas, or vampires were injured in the making of this website. (AFNWA1 approved)

Go figure…

Ron’s Boss

1 Association for Not Whacking Anybody – like everything else here, AFNWA is FICTITIOUS organization

 

So, Were Dinosaurs on Tuesday Then?

CM photoillustration, base drawing Public Domain from WPClipart.com

First off, the boss decided not to fire me, or whack me either, which is a good thing, especially the second one. He even built me some new digs, and then told me to get my butt to work. The most interconnected projects1 taking up my time right now are a couple of stories (yet untitled) relating to the Acolytica project and The Flyover War.

Both of have required a ton of research on religious organizations, natural resources, and their connection to politics. I mean pages and pages of notes (the boss had to build four different Wikis to manage it all). So, I’m left with the big question.

The two primary places in the globe when it comes to news about oil — or as they in the Beverly Hillbillies theme – Black Gold, Texas Tea — are the Middle East, and Texas. OK, so that’s cool. It is where it is. But then again, you almost have to ask why those two places are heavily populated with fundamentalists, on several sides of the many aisles, of course. But then it got me really wondering (a really BAD2 thing about research sometimes) and I thought — yes, it sometimes happens — don’t most fundamentalists literally go along with the six-day thing in Genesis?

If so, I couldn’t find anything in Genesis about the dinosaurs. I looked, really. The question just begging to be asked is — do the majority populations of the worlds places, which are also most heavily populated by oil billionaires, not believe in dinosaurs? Then I thought, could be. After all they don’t really talk about dinosaurs, they talk about:

  • The awl bidness
  • Awl wells
  • An then they say fawcilfuawls all in one word, like they do their OTHER religion hawskoolfootball3.
  • Don’t forget, they’re really into energy, a lot, so they also teach ’em to say NEWCUELER in first grade.

So maybe they don’t believe in dinosuars, but I do. I’ve been to museums and seen their stony old bones. I watched the Jurassic Park trilogy 50 gazillion times (research, of course, and you know like all trilogies the first one is the best.) So, as Albert Popwell so eloquently delivered as he looked down the the barrel of Harry Callahan’s .44 Magnum… “I gots ta ask…”

Were the dinosaurs on Tuesday then?

notes:
1 interconnected projects are tied to at least two or more components of the ChaliceMedia online story world for bonus content and other things. For example, they may share communities, characters, organizations, timelines, and even storylines. [ed: ok so I didn’t fire RC. I (as me, the guy who writes up the footnotes) just reassigned some of his backlog to some new guys.]
2 the boss created a storyworld component for a restaurant I made up where the bad guys have waffles
3 e.g. High School Football – (genuflect) for the uninitiated. Texas high school football is where lifelong careers are made or destroyed. It’s the stuff of books (Amazon lists 552), movies (The Last Picture Show), TV shows (Friday Night Lights, Varsity Blues), and cheerleader-whacking mothers (certainly a few movies-of-the-week about this one).

 

Nostagia Snort #1 – Flash Production Credits

This is one my early experiments (circa 2004-05)  with interactive Flash® animation1. It’s made up of some Ron Chalice production credits from the original (v 1.0) ChaliceMedia.com website.  Click through the list of items.

Projects included in this animation are © the producers listed in the animation.

1 Sorry Apple® mobile users (of which I am one)… this interactive flash can’t be converted to video.

 

Skidding Across the Lip of Sixteen with the Eff-Bee-Eye

[ed. In the process of creating the new RonChalice.com, I ran across this story as part of the “Ron” bio. Since it’s kind of fun, I publishing it as the first “real” article from the new website.]

I had just skidded across the lip of sixteen when the Feebs (the EFF BEE EYE) first came knocking at my door.Okay, my mother’s door – looking for me. They were tall, and expressionless, like Sergeant Joe Friday on tranquilizers. Their suits were the same gray, their shoes the same shiny black. I figured what I had done was freedom of expression, they called it something else. ‘Nuf said.

My “crime” appeared to be that I was a ringleader in the Great Pizza Protest of 1966 in a northern Colorado high school (I could tell you the name but then I’d have to — you know the drill.) The high school had begun to enforce what they lovingly called a “closed campus.” This meant, among other things, that our lunch-time sustenance would be limited to — you got it — school lunches the stuff that comes in 55 gallon drums that the govmint hands out. If you’ve ever had one, you’ll understand the reasoning behind the Great Pizza Protest of 1966. A bunch of us had the gol-durned gall to have fresh, steaming, sweet smelling PIZZAs — about 50 kazillion of them — delivered right to the school lunchroom. ‘Nuf said.

Turns out the administration felt that the Great Pizza Protest of 1966 was distracting, disrespectful, disruptive, and downright disAmerican. They handed out a lot of detention and other forms of horrible, evil punishment. Man, it was terrible. ‘Nuf said.

So, right about now, you’re wondering. What the hell does the FBI have to do with the Great Pizza Protest of 1966? Were they using mozarella made with plutonium shavings? Nah, Rocky Flats was about 30 miles away. It kind of went this way — I decided that I would let the principal know my true feelings about the horrible, evil punishments meted out, especially to us ringleaders. How did I let him know? I wrote him a letter.

Huh? You ask.

Then (suspenseful pause inserted here) — I MAILED IT.

Turns out if you’re going to mail somebody a letter about horrible, evil punishments meted out to everyone especially the ringleaders, you ought to be careful about the language — and the timbre and tone, if you know what I mean. Otherwise, the FBI, with nothing better to do, will come and pound your door.

If I took a poll right now, you’re opinion would probably be that I made all of this up. You’d probably think that there really was no Great Pizza Protest of 1966 — but you’d be wrong. Every bit of it is true. It’s the rest of the stuff you see here that’s made up.

I’m a writer, ya know.

Multimedia and Good Buddies…

A good, lifetime friend is working on a new multimedia project. Sneak peaks are cool…

One Freakin’ Page?

What the heck?

I just went over to the Ron Chalice Official Website and was shocked to see that it is only ONE page. No links, nothing! My first thought was that what the Boss said a couple of months ago about whacking me might just be true.

Then, I took half a minute to actually read what was written on the page. It says that things are just temporarily on hold over there because new projects are coming dow the pike and I’m going to get some help!.

Cool!
rlc

[ed. note Since you can see this is a brand new site for RC, we obviously didn’t fire him. He’s hard at work on a new project this very second. RB]

Sometimes a Martini

Sometimes a martini just hits the spot. I finished a book over six months ago and set it aside. I loved it, but response was somewhat mediocre, one of the problems being that the title sounded like a romance novel. Nothing wrong with romance novels, but this is a thriller.

Update:

Sometimes a martini can get you whacked!

Two freakin’ years this post has been sitting the “drafts” bin, and I still haven’t had the martini I was going to talk about when I started this post. OK, I have had a couple of martinis in that time, but not the martini I was dying for in July of 2008.  Since then the manuscript’s been through a number of revisions, a gender change on the romantic interest (huh?) and a couple of other permutations. People from a couple of the larger houses have seen it:

Response A:” Great concept! An extreme escape thriller — will be a hard sell because it’s too real and the escape is too uncomfortable.” – Huh? too real? Maybe there is something to that. I did have a conversation with a filmmaker about it and he said, “Sounds like non-fiction to me.

Isn’t that the point? Don’t we want our stories to smack of realism? Aren’t scary things more scary, and thrillers more thrilling when they are realistic?

(more…)