Ah, this wonderful internet

What a fabulous world this internet is. The research potential, access to news, the ability to connect with people.

Then again… who are the f_cks that keep writing all the programming to overwhelm cyberspace with offers for male enhancement, pharmaceuticals, and animal sex? Can’t they go off to save the world or something? Nah, they’re probably the same f_cks who substitute ethylene glycol for glucose and melamine for protein.

I love my award winning dog, Sailor, and I write about him a lot! Somehow the sneaky petes who program this auto-post bullshit manage to shoot me a bazillion bogus comments to animal sex links whenever I post a sailor story.

I happen to be a little accident prone… oh well, seems like whenever I write about that the pharmaceuticals come flooding in.

Get a Life, Dudes! Just because you paid somebody $39.95 for “How YOU Can Make Money on the Internet!” don’t take it out on me. You’re NEVER gonna make your $39.95 back, no matter how much male enhancment crap you post to somebody’s site.

Be a man… (take some of your own product if necessary) and write off the friggin’ $39.95 for crap’s sake!

ttfn,

Ron

Presidential Candidate is Using A Ron Chalice Song!

Em Gideon, Presidential Candidate from Colorado, announced this morning that he is using a Ron Chalice song for his campaign.  How cool is that?

Unfortunately, he didn’t credit US for the song… oh, well, we’re working with “his people” to see if we can get that corrected. 

But you can listen to it right here on OUR MySpace page, it’s called TEXANS.
Better yet—you can buy it now at http://www.lulu.com/content/200150

We’re working on a couple of deals with other music sites, but nothing to announce on that as of yet.

Seeya,

Ron

Em Gideon is Running for President

Wow! A good friend of mine is running for President. OK, he’s not really a friend, I can’t stand the prick. But he is a congressman and he is running for President, yep… THAT President… not the garden club or the Chamber of Commerce… the President of the USA. I noticed today that he’s started one heck of a web campaign in the past couple of days. Even started a Squidoo Lens And he’s been making all the local newspapers (The Boulder Springs Journal, The Solace Creek Statesman) and Television and Radio (York Broadcast Network)… Ok, he didn’t really make the radio, he INSULTED radio station KZUD 88.2 in today’s WebSpeech.

I just don’t know about the guy. He’s really hung up on this immigration thing… (must be a hot topic with Colorado Congressmen running for President.)

All I know is I’m not gonna vote for the guy. Even if he IS a figment of my imagination.

ttfn, rlc

The ultimate medium — hmmmmm.

Getting ready for the Pikes Peak Writer’s conference, just wrapping off some minor details and trying to compact the first chapter of November Romeo into 3 Killer Pages for a Read&Critique on Friday afternoon. Helping me think, I’ve got Molly Hatchet’s Jailbreak… stripped fromLP, not a CD… still has the scratches and fat warmth… playing at full crank in media player… with Savoy’s Brown’s Tell Mama queued up close behind.

Got to thinking about all the different ways that human beings express themselves. Certainly, the ones we know most about, and see most often are speech, music, visual arts, and writing. Sometimes we combine them… a good song… is a story set to music. For those of us old enough to remember the LP, there was almost ALWAYS a visual element as well. One of my favorite browse books is “1000 Record Covers” by Michael Ochs (Taschen, 2001). Have a few of them myself…. another little aside… I’m sure glad somebody invented an LP wall frame that doesn’t hurt the album…

Then we’ve got film, combines voice, writing, visuals, AND music. Music videos can sometimes be right up there… if the story is good and the visuals are gratuitous T&A…

(Sympathy for the Devil’s up now… another LP strip from “Beggar’s Banquet… following that up are Cream’s Tales of Brave Ulysses and Procol Harum’s Whiter Shade of Pale (that one is on the worklist for the Ohio concert on June 8.)….

Books have historically drawn milllions, but a lot of publishers are reporting declining sales. It’s also getting harder and harder to get a major newspaper to do book reviews… There are just zillions of them coming out every year… e-publishing, Print-on-Demand, and other technologies seem to be pressing hard against the industry.

Ok, it’s probably time to get back to my real work before Mick Jagger “Lays my soul to waste…”

The ultimate medium to be has to be film. It combines everything, and everything has to work right for the film to work… A good story song is a VERY close second… Harry Chapin’s “Taxi” for instance, is as engrossing as any film…

ttfn,

rlc

First Episode of Idols Time Warp – Available Now

 

Get ready for the very first episode of Idols Time Warp, from NasalOranges and York Broadcast Network

The transcript of the very first Idols Time Warp programme was released on NasalOranges on Monday, April 16, 2007. We had considered posting actual video footage of the programme, but discovered that the video equipment and media did not reach a “level of sustainability” during the time travels. Even our digital voice recorder became distorted, and converted itself to an 8-track tape player on one early test of the system.

We used digital voice recorders rather than video gear as test subjects because they are relatively cheap. And after paying Simeon Cruel’s salary, we don’t have that much budget left. One came back as a stylus and clay block, another returned as carved stone tablets. Who could have known?

Therefore, you get transcripts. Painstakingly scribed by our note taker Geoff Chaucer.

The first programme comes from February 9, 1964 in the city of New York USA. Four of Her Royal Majesty’s subjects, named John, Paul, George, and Richard, will perform for our judges.

Tune In Tomorrow!!!!!

NasalOranges from Ron Chalice

York Broadcast Network is a figment of the imagination of Ron Chalice it is not a REAL network… yet.

Making Tigers in Paradise

This recipe comes from a question in the RonChalice.com FAQs

Tigers in Paradise…

First, you start with a clump of fresh Tiger prawns (’bout a pound or so)…

Peel ’em and put ’em in a bowl with some teriaki sauce and a smidge of pineapple juice.

In a two story steamer… (you’ve seen ’em before, the stainless steel pot that has two nested baskets inside) put the bottom basket in, and put enough water in the pan so there’s about 3 inches depth in the bottom basket… put ‘er on the burner and crank on the heat… while the water’s gettin’ warm, dice up a little green pepper, slice some broccoli and fresh carrots, maybe a bit of squash and put it all in the top steamer basket. Season with black pepper, a little garlic powder, some rosemary and a smidge of herbes de provence… put the lid on and wait for the water to boil… save about 2 tablespoons of the diced green pepper for later.

When the water begins to boil, dump about 225g of penne pasta… that’s half a box of Barillo Penne to most middle Americans… and set the dinger for 14 minutes.

When the dinger shows 11 minutes left, put a tablespoon, nah make it 2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil into a saute pan and set ‘er for medium high…

After about a minute… add 1/4 tsp of minced garlic to the oil and watch it sizzle…

With 9 minutes left on the timer, drop the tigers into the hot oil, stir ’em for two minutes, then turn down the heat to medium…

In a microwave save coffee mug, put 3 tablespoons of butter and nuke for 45 seconds. Add 1 shot of Captain Morgans spiced rum and nuke another 30 seconds… add two table spoons of brown sugar and 1/4 cup of pineapple juice to the cup and stir like hell.

When it’s all smooth and mixed together, dump it over the shrimp… add some black pepper, a dash of cayenne and the rest of the diced green pepper…

Simmer the shrimp until the dinger for the pasta goes off….

Drain the pasta and season it up with one of the following options

A little melted butter and diced garlic or a 2:1 dusting of olive oil:basalmic vinegar and some oregano.

Serve by laying a bed of pasta, and topping with the steamed veggies and tigers…

Wash it down with an Ecco Domani or … if ya really like her a lot and want to get lucky… a Santa Margherita Pino Grigio…

We just had the Cabo (tequila/limes/cilantro/cumin instead of the rum/brown sugar) version for dinner tonight…

yum,  I’m off to bed!

Ron

Miners Alley Playhouse has done it again!

I’ve never been disappointed at one of the dozen or more shows we’ve seen at the Miner’s Alley Playhouse in Golden, Colorado, but “Tuesday’s with Morrie” which opened March 23 is simply astounding. Written by Mitch Albom and Jeffery Hatcher, and based on Albom’s best-seller, the play is directed for MAP by Richard H. Pegg.

The performances of Roger Simon as Morrie Schwartz and Scott McClean as Mitch Albom draw the audience into the world of ALS. As Morrie deals with his disease, and prepares for the inevitable end, Mitch’s life is indelibly altered by his Tuesday visits with his old college mentor. Simon’s and McClean’s performances are taut, and respectful, yet mesmerizing. Only minutes into the play, it’s hard for the viewer to imagine not being in Morrie’s office, in the middle of the conversation.

If I had a dozen thumbs, they’d all be pointing skyward.

ttfn,

rlc

UFO Incident Leaves Author Shaken…

Today I discovered a real disadvantage associated with the writing of suspense and thrillers. While contemplating the rewrite of a scene where Catherine Combes is indecisive about pulling her weapon on a seventeen-year-old girl, the silence in my office was shattered by exploding glass.

A UFO (Unwanted Flying Object) had breached the outer layer of insulated glass but, fortunately, didn’t carry enough momentum to penetrate the inner pane. A bird? I looked for forensic evidence. The screen hadn’t been damaged, making a bird strike unlikely. No sign of blood feathers or slimy white poo… A slight motion in my peripheral vision caught my attention. If it was a friggin’ alien spaceship, it was a tiny one. No worries about fifty-foot irradiated women, or big laser-blasting tripods here. The object was perfectly round, rolling to a stop in my neighbor’s grass.

A quick glance out my window to the street below assured me that there were no snipers, gangstas, or hideous horrible creatures about. I cautiously ventured down my stairs and out my front door.

I approached the object on tiptoes and from a dozen feet away saw that the side of the object was adorned with characters. My instincts told me to drop to the ground and crawl toward it on my hands and knees, but our neighborhood has a block party every summer, and I had no intention of being the topic of conversation for the length of the party.

I remained standing, like a man… and stepped firmly forward. A few feet away, I was close enough to decipher the heiroglyphic impressions…

M… a… x… f… l… i… 1!

ttfn, rlc

Minor changes

We’ve made a couple of minor changes to make the site a bit easier to read.  The font for the main content is now a bit larger and spacier.

Thanks,

Blog Administrator

Pikes Peak Writers Conference

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April 20-22, 2007  Colorado Springs Marriott.

The Pikes Peak Writers Conference started in 1993 and each April, brings the New York publishing industry to Colorado Springs, Colorado for a weekend packed with workshops, pitch meetings, read & critique sessions and much more. Writer’s Digest Magazine voted Pikes Peak Writers Conference one of the top ten writing conferences in the US. Guest speakers have included Nora Roberts, Stephen Coonts, Diane Mott Davidson, Robert Crais, Jennifer Crusie, Rupert Holmes, David Morrell, Susan Elizabeth Phillips and Jim Butcher.

The conference also sponsors the Paul Gillette Writing Contest which runs annually and whose winners are recognized at the conference. Past winners who went on to publication include: Carol Berg, Margaret Coel, Colleen Collins, Kimberly Willis Holt, Robin Owens, Leslie O’Kane and Ralph Wetterhahn.

I’m happy to say that I’m participating on staff this year in a coordination role.

For more information, or to register  Pikes Peak Writers Conference

ttfn,

rlc