A Random Excerpt from Ron's Works

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Title: @#$% Texans! (Country ain't the music for me)

CHORUS:

I'd rather be a turd than be a Texan
I'd rather be in hell than Tennessee
I'd rather catch the clap than do the two-step
'cause country ain't the music for me

There was a country boy from Oklahoma
changed his name to Denver a few years back
and everytime he sings about the Rocky Mountain High
the freaks in California start to pack

CHORUS

Somethin' that I'm seein' every day
it bothers more and more as I get older
if the sticker on your car says you heart new york
what the f*ck are you doing in Boulder

I'd rather be a turd than be a Texan
I'd rather be in hell than Tennessee
I'd rather catch the clap than do the achey breaky heart
'cause someone taught those Texans to ski

KEY AND CHANGE UP

Chet Atkins will you make me a star
So I can play my guitar in a country and western bar
I'll sing about country livin'
I'll sing about truck drivin' women
Chet Atkins will you make me a star
so I can play my guitar in a country and western bar

** Alternative verses **

I read it in the paper every day
it really sets me off and gets me fumin’
a man who beats his dog, ain’t much of a man
and a man who beats a woman isn’t human

the gangbanger, he is a gutless moron
with a three fifty seven in his pants
I’d like to send them all to the electric chair
pull the switch and watch those bastards dance

there was a blond haired boy named Danny Quayle
who came in from some Indiana town
he had aspired to be the leader of our land
till he met a TV bitch named Murphy Brown

Copyright Ron Lynch Chalice 1986, 2004 All Rights Reserved.